READING, WRITING, ROGERING

A sexual education pamphlet being distributed to high school students in Britain has caused an outrage by pointing out the physical and psychological benefits of having an enjoyable sex life. The leaflet proudly declares that “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away” and goes on to ask the kids: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?” (The Telegraph)

WHO SAYS BABIES ARE USELESS?

Psychologists in the UK have discovered that keeping a picture of a cute baby in your wallet will increase your chances of having the wallet returned if you ever lose it. After planting 240 wallets in the streets of Edinburgh last year they found that nearly half of the wallets were mailed back to the owner. Among those that were returned,88 percent of the wallets which contained a picture of a baby were returned compared to 53 percent for wallets with a picture of a puppy, 48 percent for a photo of a family, 28 percent for a picture of an elderly couple, and only 15 percent for wallets with no photo whatsoever. (Times Online)

I’M HATIN’ IT

So you want to hike into the wilderness and get away from it all but you’re addicted to cheeseburgers. What to do, what to do? Well, a Swiss company has created the world’s first canned cheeseburger just for you. Simply throw the can in a pot of water over your campfire, wait a few minutes and you’re ready to cure your munchies. But beware, brave folks have actually tasted this monstrosity and the verdict is not good. One brave taste-tester writes that the burger tastes “something like a really terrible veggie burger: Sort of beef-esque, in a way that would only fool someone who never actually eats beef. The fairly rank, unsweetened ketchup overwhelms the burger, while the cheese and bun do not lend anything to the experience one way or the other, apart from helpfully keeping the "meat" further away from the taste buds.” (Gizmodo.com)

WORLD’S WORST TOURISTS

Irritating French vacationers have knocked the Chinese off their perch as the world’s worst tourists in this year’s survey of 4,500 hotel owners worldwide carried out by Expedia. The French snatched the victory thanks to their rudeness, arrogance, unwillingness to speak local languages and inability to give tips. American tourists had a shot at the title after being voted the messiest, loudest and worst dressed tourists, but made up for it by being the world’s most generous tippers. (Reuters)

ANOTHER REASON TO BLAME YOUR PARENTS FOR YOUR CRUMMY LIFE

Another warning from scientists this week about the problems with giving your son an unpopular name. The latest study claims that the more “unpopular, uncommon, or feminine” a boy’s name the greater his chances of starting a life of crime and ending up in jail some day. After analyzing over 15,000 names the researchers concluded that boys with these types of names are more likely to be ridiculed by their peers and face discrimination in the workplace which causes them to engage in socially delinquent behaviour. Among the most troublesome names (at least for North American children) are Alec, Ernest, Garland, Ivan, Kareem, Luke, Malcolm, Preston, Tyrell, and Walter. A previous study published by the University of British Columbia last year calculated that for every 10 per cent increase in the popularity of a name there is an associated 3.7 per cent decrease in the number of troublemaking kids with that name. (Orlando Sentinel)

YOU MAY NOW SNIFF THE BRIDE’S ASS

A Ghanaian women married her dog last week after deciding that it was the only being on earth who displayed the qualities she was looking for in a husband. “I’ve been in relationships with so many men and they are all the same - skirt-chasers and cheaters. My dog is kind and loyal to me and he treats me with so much respect.” The wedding was attended by curious onlookers from her village but boycotted by her family, who called the marriage “a stupid step to combat her loneliness”. (Ananova)

SEXY FACTS

From a webpage called “Top 10 Fascinating Facts About Sex” come these conversation starters: one minute of kissing burns 26 calories; a half an hour of sex burns 150 calories; sex cures headaches; sperm is good for your skin; men watching three-way porn produce more sperm than men watching “normal” porn; Victorian prostitutes shaved their pubic hair to prevent lice and then wore pubic wigs for their customers (which also helped to conceal STDs); and, last but not least, female penguins engage in a form of prostitution in which they have sex with single male penguins in exchange for material to build their nests. (ListVerse.com)

HEY! FREE TRIP TO TIBET

Turkish television has created a new reality show in which members of various religious leaders will try to convert atheists to their belief systems. The show will pit a Greek Orthodox priest, a rabbi, an imam and a Buddhist monk against each other as they each lead a group of atheists on pilgrimages to Mecca, Tibet and Jerusalem. (CBC)

THIS MEDICINE LOOKS, SMELLS, AND TASTES LIKE SHIT... GOOD THING WE DIDN’T STEP IN IT

It’s great to see that the ancient art of the snake oil salesman is alive and well. Entrepreneurs in India are cashing in on the latest hot item on the streets of New Delhi -- health cures made out of cow urine and dung. “You won’t believe how quickly some of the products sold out,” says Manoj Kumar, who sells a wide variety of cure-alls, including a “multi-utility pill” which claims to cure anything from diabetes to piles to “ladies’ diseases,” and a liquid medicine which claims to battle cancer, hysteria, and irregular periods. Along with the medicines made from cow dung and cow urine, a wide range of health products are also gaining popularity including cow dung toothpaste, detergents, a skin-whitening cream, baldness and obesity cures, soap and a cow urine antiseptic aftershave. And, from the “Gee, your hair smells atrocious” department, the inventor of the cow-dung detergent next hopes to create a cream which will help stop hair loss. (The Telegraph)

HOW TO PISS YOUR PANTS

Vertigo junkies have a new attraction to visit: the Sears Tower in Chicago has built a glass-floored observation deck on the 110th floor -- 1,353 feet up in the air. The attraction, called The Ledge, claims to be the scariest view in the world with its transparent walls and ceilings and a glass floor only a half an inch thick. (Ananova)